A Letter of Forewarning

Dear Martha Stewart and The Queen of Clean:

I am writing to inform you both of the up-and-coming competition you will soon have. Much to my surprise and utter enjoyment, I am raising up my very own Domestic Diva. Although she has only 18 little months under her belt of life, she boasts an array of household talents. From sweeping the kitchen floor with grace and efficiency, to baking mouth-watering fudgy brownies with the quick stir of her special spoon, she is by all means accomplished. She even finds self-satisfaction in organization through the stacking of various spice jars on our kitchen floor. Why would one so small choose to master such a task, you ask? It is merely evidence of her advanced domestic progression.

What's more astounding is her need to do it all in women's pantyhose. It is not enough for her to carry out these domestic duties in any old outfit. She prefers a scarf of suntan pantyhose draped around her little neck.

As the child's proud mother, I have enough foresight to know that you will hardly believe these admissions without hard evidence. Below I provide you both with what you may feel is necessary. It is with the utmost respect that I write to you two distinguished ladies in advance so neither one will be taken by surprise when "Makenna Mann: Domestic Diva" is a household name in a matter of a few short years.

Earnestly yours,

Kara A. Mann