Patriotic Indeed

Holy cow- our 4th was rockin'. No, seriously. We've never seen fireworks on the Mall and had no idea what to expect. If you know Drew, you know we played it safe and got there at TEN A.M. And what time did we leave? TEN P.M.

If you ever do the Fourth on the National Mall, it would behoove you to take a word from the wise and follow this checklist:

1. Show up early for the parade and sit at the BEGINNING of the parade (7th and Constitution) so that you can high-tail it out of there when it ends.
2. Make friends with an unusually muscular, thus very intimidating, black man so that he can be your family's body guard throughout the parade while herds of spectators try to step over you to get to the street.
3. Take lots of videos/pictures of the parade to show your posterity that you WERE brave enough to go downtown on such an insanely crowded day.
4. Once the last float has passed, casually run to the Old Post Office for a quick, but always delicious lunch of $6 gyros, before everyone else has the same idea.
5. Head on over to the Navy Memorial on Penn. Ave. to wash your dirty feet/legs in the "No Wading" pool. You'll feel much refreshed.
6. At this point, you're going to have about 7 hours to kill before you can enjoy what you really came for, the fireworks. So walk around the Smithsonian exhibits set up under tents all along the mall. You may even be tempted to try some ethnic food or dance to some ethnic music. (Note: your child should be sleeping in their stroller at this time, for they will not get any sleep the rest of the day).
7. There are lots of religions handing out free things on the Mall today. Why not take one? And then get into a religious discussion/debate/fight with teenage minions the churches have persuaded to do their missionary work.
8. Now hunker down at your chosen spot to wait out the evening for the fireworks. Make friends with the people next to you so that the time will pass quicker. Send your husband back to the much-coveted A+ parking spot you could score if your husband works for the FTC (free parking garage located on 7th and Constitution) multiple times to lug back chairs/umbrellas/sweatshirts/food.
9. Play the "I Spot a Mormon Family" as long as you can by looking for smiley face g's on the passersby.
10. Bring your own TP to the porta-potties, for they will surely run out 1/2 way through the day. Also be prepared to be 54th in line.
11. Hold your loved ones close and watch the most amazing fireworks display with the most gorgeous backdrop ever, making lots of oohs and ahs and making everyone feel very patriotic.
12. Now RUN to your car as fast as you can and don't look back.